Halloween Shadows
by Joriel
Summary: This was written for a Halloween fic contest, and is also one of my rare attampts at first person pov through Trowa.


There is bright laughter all around me, trying to wrap me up in it's bright embrace like one of the small treats landing into small bags at every door. Children are racing around in imaginative costumes carrying all sorts of containers from plain plastic bags to brightly colored plastic pumpkins. They race around me, some pausing to consider my clothes and my hair and try to figure out who I mean to be.  
  
I just mean to be me. I don't...I don't know how to be Halloween. I don't know how to imagine myself into something else, then make it happen for a night and laugh as I race around gathering treats. I suppose it's because I have spent my whole life pretending to be other people, without even so much as a name of my own, I have no more imagination left to use for play.  
  
The others still do. Duo came out of his and Heero's bedroom in a gauzy, wispy tunic-like thing made of black silk and tulle. Attached to his back were translucent black wings that fluttered slightly as he walked, with black sequins and glitter shattering the light into all colors of the rainbow and tossing it at me. His hair was loose around him, falling in a tumbling cascade of wavey chestnut locks: the only thing keeping it out of his face was some kind of halo made of wire wrapped in black cellophane like a dark halo. He looked...delicious. I can see why Heero fell so hard for him, why he is so protective and careful of Duo. Heero never does anything to mar the smile on Duo's face, and heaven help those that do.  
  
To my surprise Heero came out behind him, dressed in a similar outfit in white. He wrapped his arm around Duo's waist, and whispered something in the American's ear that made him laugh with delight and nuzzle Heero's neck. Duo was so affectionate. So open and loving, that Heero had learned to respond.  
  
The black and white angels paused to look at me, and ask if I wanted to go with them to a party Relena was hosting. Duo said he had his Death costume from last year that I could fit in easily if I wanted. It was a sweet gesture, but I found myself shaking my head negatively. I didn't want to mar the world of the gemini angels tonight, they had so little time to themselves to really enjoy what they had fought for. They smiled and left, Heero actually talking out loud about some of the Halloween customs he had researched for Relena and was looking forward to trying. Something about apples.  
  
Wufei walked out of his bedroom next, and I had a bizarre sense of unreality for a moment. Wufei was dressed up as well, but not in the traditional Chinese historical  
  
outfits he usually chose.  
  
It took me a full minute to believe my eyes. Wufie was...of all things...an overlarge black cat. He wore a skintight catsuit...and I had to chuckle at my own pun there. It kind of shimmered in the light, but I couldn't tell why. Cute little cat ears poked up out of his hair, like Duo's, surprisingly untied. Then I realized he had used his hair to cover the headband the ears were attached to. When he turned to yell for Quatre, a long tail whipped around and curled around one muscular thigh for a moment. I wondered if Quatre would come out as a white kitten, completing the black and white date theme that seemed to be going on this evening.  
  
"I'm coming!" the sweet voice finally called out, and Quatre shot out of the kitchen. I had to forcefully remind myself that Quatre was Wufei's...and not pounce on him right then and there. He was dressed up as a kind of medival sorceror, but forewent the overdone robe and instead chose to wear skintight irridescant green breeches that ended in kneehigh black leather boots. A irridescant tunic of the same shimmering green material clung hung loosely around his chest, with a deep v slashed in the front. Laces were done through the loops, but he hadn't drawn it tightly and the smooth skin of his chest glittered with body glitter. The same glitter formed a bandit's mask across his face, bringing out the deep green of his light eyes. His golden hair glittered with the stuff too, what little I could see under the yawning hood of the black velvet cloak he wore. The back of which was embroidered with cats along the hem.  
  
"You look good, sweet familiar," he said shyly to Wufei, who was eating him alive with his eyes.  
  
"And you look stunning, my sorcerer," Wufei told him, pulling him close to kiss him deeply. Wufei and Quatre had stunned me. I cursed myself for the thousandth time since I learned they had connected. Why shouldn't Quatre want him? Once Wufei realized that he had feelings for Quatre, instead of hiding in the shadows like me, he went and told him, wooing him with all the passion he'd hidden rather well.  
  
Duo once told me that Wufei learned a hard lesson about love once, and was not going to run away again. It might not always be there tomorrow. Never stand in the shadows and hope, go try.  
  
They too invited me along, only Quatre offered quite an assortment of costume choices as opposed to Duo's single available extra. I politely turned them down, not really wanting to intrude, or do something foolish. So the sorcerer and his familiar took off to a party Iria was hosting. I knew this because Catherine had also been invited, and was probably already there. She and Iria had made good friends very quickly.  
  
So that left me alone in a quiet, empty house on Halloween. Maybe it was just all the psychological hype of the day, but it felt eerie in there this evening. So I thought a walk would be nice, a chance to watch the children enjoying Halloween for the first time in a few years, since the war ended. Duo had been right, America had become a great home for us all, making room for all our separate cultures. There was something for all of us here, and a charm all it's own with these quaint holidays.  
  
I was happy, just watching them. Those beautiful children in their clever costumes, laughing and begging for candy, trying to scare each other. The screams that did ring out that night had the edge of joy to them, not pain or true terror. This was why I had stepped into Heavyarms.  
  
"TROWA!" and oddly familiar voice called out, and I turned in surprise in time to see a young elf princess detach herself from what looked to be a walking game of Dungeons and Dragons of some kind. A young elf lord reached out for her arm, but she dodged esaily and ran over to hug me. The sweet scent of Lily of the Valley surrounded me with her arms as I reflexively hugged her back.  
  
"It's so good to see you! I'm sorry I haven't been sooner, but J's had all sorts of bizarre tests and commercial applications for our unit lately," she chattered happily, and I finally placed her. Kim Lilian, part of Dr. J's contingency plan to infiltrate and seize power from within Oz if we failed. Since we didn't fail, it appeared the wily old bastard was still going to make use of his investment in her and her companions.  
  
"Good evening, milady," I replied, feeling somewhat foolish and appropriate at the same time.  
  
She smiled at me, backing up to drop into a full and graceful curtsey. She wore a lovely blue gown cut similarly to a painting she had once shown me of an elven princess, and confided in me that she would give a great deal to wear a dress like that. Her black hair was tied up in an elaborate pony tail and braid arrangement, highlighting her delicate features.  
  
"I'm glad you finally got your dress."  
  
"You remembered!" she chimed back at me, smiling. Glancing over her shoulder as her companions approached, the young elf lord with a distinctly unhappy look upon his face, she hooked her arm in mine and started down the street with me. "I'll see you guys tomorrow, I want to catch up with Trowa!" she called over her shoulder as she led me away.  
  
Once we had safely lost then, she started laughing happily. "I"m so sorry Trowa, the look on your face. I didn't mean to kidnap you, really. But I haven't had any time to see you or the others in ages, and there you were, and it was just so perfect!"  
  
"It's fine," I told her, smiling slightly. To my amazement I realized it really was fine all of a sudden, and that I felt much better in her company than alone on the street. I followed her to the park, wondering if the bright bubbly joy was hers alone or a result of her empathic talents.  
  
She settled gracefully on the lip of the large fountain, watching the water fall in the moonlight. "I love it here, by the fountain Trowa. When I was little, before Dr J took me to the colonies, I used to dream that one day I would grow up and a prince would come here and kiss me."  
  
She laughed at herself then, smiling at me again and inviting me to tell her everything I had done since we'd left for Peacemillian to stop Zechs' insanity. I found myself doing so, wondering for a minute if she was forcing me to unburden myself with her telepathy. I put that thought aside then, I knew her better than that. She may go out of her way to hound you until you talk and heal, but she never forced anyone. She respected choice too much. I was talking because I needed to talk. I told her everything, about the day to day mundanities of life, about Wufei and Quatre, and Duo and Heero. I told her about my broken dreams, and the confusion I felt when I looked into the future. I was faintly embarrassed when I was done.  
  
Kim smiled at me, and then she told me what she had been doing. She confessed to me that Dr. J and the others of her group that he had augmented were all waiting for her to marry the elflord, Jaime, so that J could see if his modifications would continue to show up in their children. The others thought they were a perfect couple, and were always trying to force her to be alone with him. But Kim didn't feel like that for Jaime. She hung her head so that her ponytail shadowed her face in the darkness.  
  
We each thought for a long time. About Halloween, about the future, about the past. Finally she looked up at me and smiled, the peace that I just now realized had  
  
been missing in her eyes shining there now. I think I must look the same.  
  
I never knew what made me do it. But the next thing I was aware of, I had leaned over and lightly brushed my lips across hers. "You are beautiful in the moonlight,  
  
Princess," I whispered, only realizing it as the words came out of my mouth.  
  
Her eyes met mine, wide and full of wonder, and she leaned against me, her head falling to my chest with a soft sight. I wrapped my arms around her, we watched  
  
the moon play on the waters of the fountain just like that for a long time.  
  
"Thank you Trowa," She finally said, so quietly I almost missed it.  
  
"I think we both deserve to be free," I answered her softly. "Will you..." I lost the words, going suddenly shy, and looking away.  
  
"I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow," she answered. She had always understood me, my shyness, my confusion. I nodded and hugged her close to me,  
  
finally feeling the freedom I had fought so hard for.  
  
Best of all, I knew what I would be for Halloween next year. 


End file.
